inbox

[succise]

crystal/action/book/misc

Comments

post-demon, pre-modplot; office actionspam

[extortionate]

You got any idea how t'catch a bird?

[ hello coworker. he's busy whittling something into the underside of a desk - not his own - ]

[succise]

(A short, sharp sigh.)

Is this a joke? I don't like jokes.

[extortionate]

Y'don't like -

[ his knife stops scratching a moment to take it in. well. whatever. ]

- Nah. Gotta get some letters off on a raven, and Rookery won't take a bribe.

[succise]

Make the bird an offer.

[extortionate]

Pay - [ look. he's not a bright man. ] - The bird?

[succise]

Yes, give it something in exchange for the task.

[extortionate]

Yeah, yeah I reckon that'd do it,

[ lazar points the knife at her, then taps the side of his forehead, twice: ]

Listen, you ever need help working out your own con-un-drum, owe y'one.

[succise]

Alright.

(Well, she will cash that in now then:) I need to sneak my mare into the Gallows. How should I do this?

[extortionate]

This a euphemism? 'Cause that's easy, but you don't wanna take a girl back here - got no ambiance -

[succise]

(Vega stares. Then she snaps her fingers at him, recalling his attention from that strange thread,) What? Why would it be? I'm asking you about my mare.

I can't keep her in my room, it isn't big enough.

[extortionate]

Your mare, yeah,

[ filly. lass. whatever the kids are calling it these days. ]

Plenty of room in the basement. Or just put in for one of her own. Plenty folks think they’re clever - taking up two, laying their pipes in one -

[succise]

Yes. (Is he slow??

Her voice raises over his rambling,) I'm not going to put her in the basement — she is a prize horse! A show jumper!

[extortionate]

Pedigreed, huh. Listen, sometimes they take a shine to the rough - gets 'em out of the comfort zone -

[succise]

(Wait.

Vega's cheeks are pink.) We seem to have a misunderstanding.

[extortionate]

Well, I think you got enough to work it out.

[succise]

No, see here —

(She is puffing up.) You listen to me. I am talking about an animal, a real and actual horse! Stop thinking whatever you're thinking right now!

[extortionate]

What d'you figure I'm thinking?

[succise]

You know what I think you are thinking.

[extortionate]

Probably how we're even, on account of the good advice.

[succise]

You are infuriating.